Perspective ye fickel mistress

I’m typing this right now from my balcony on the 20th floor of a high rise that is surrounded with green fields and with a view of one construction site, a few hundred cows, several bunches of stray dogs (or semi-wild ones) and the occasional flock of birds flying a hundred feet below my balcony.
Life is idyllic. The city is faraway and it’s the end of a week and all my work deadlines, payment schedules, people issues and myriad other strings are all packed away for the weekend to give me two days of bliss with myself, the horizon and this scenery that I mentioned about a while back.
Oops I hear the sound of my wife and I’m brought back to the strings at home – wife, kids, homework and school project works that I need to help my kids with, my dog at my feet who needs to have a bath soon, my cupboard draws that need to be cleaned and tidied, and a few other stuff that I thankfully have forgotten at the moment. Oh here comes one of my kids with complaints of body pain, … at least till his friends call him to play and he along with his body pain will disappear for a while.
Have you ever wondered how we can be in so much of pain at a moment and the minute something or someone we like shows up in our radar, we forget the pain and go off to immerse ourselves in what we enjoy. Everything is so relative and transient that if we just remember it, at our times of stress, we will be able to comfortably sail over those troughs and crests without getting ourselves lost in its folds and creases.
Have you looked down at the world from the window of your airborne flight when it’s taking off or landing? When the plane is close enough to the ground, you are able to see people and even expressions. However as it climbs up, individual houses coagulate into coloured shapes and soon even cities disappear and just a mass of green, blues and browns are seen.
Individual worries dissappear. The damage that man is doing to our earth in his greed to urbanise, provide energy and resources to his ever-growing cities is the only things that are visible. Perspective is a powerful teacher. When we are close to a problem, it envelops us. When we give it some space, it becomes a little less unbearable. When we drop it completely from our mind, it somehow has the ability to drop out completely from our life.
The whole game of life is being played out in our mind alone. It all depend on how well we direct the movie.
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the time and space to detach and view it from afar. Go sit on top of a mountain or get to the 20th floor balcony and look out at the world.
🙂

Fuss-o-Fuzz

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What is all this fuzz about?

Couple of days back, I decided that it was time for a change of scenery…. I wanted to see a different face in the mirror and while shaving just decided to take off the fuzz above my lips without giving thought to the amount of fuss that I was inviting into my life…. No, that’s a lie… I knew what to expect. This has happened many many years ago too. About 15 years ago I had done the same and got vaguely similar similar reactions except not all the players were the same.

But that was ages ago and my memory plays hide and seek with what transpired then. But I did have vague premonitions of what was to happen after this diabolic act.

My wife who had laid the law “No removing moustache” fainted of shock after I opened the bathroom door. My kids were woken up to see this apparition. My dog was brought into this discussion and was asked to express his shock and dismay at this dastardly act. My younger son who had expressed the desire to see his father without the fuzz and later made to retract that statement was suitably admonished for his loose wishes that led to this drastic folly..

The whole house was in turmoil on a Tuesday morning in the middle of a busy week with exams looming on my 10th std son. And this fuss just didn’t die down there.

It went all the way down with me travelling 20 floors when people took a double take on seeing this fuzzless wonder. Some were reticent, some suppressed a laugh, a few ventured some comment about how I looked different, many categorically told me that they don’t want to see me like this and wanted the old Iggy back.

What really surprised me that evening in the lift was a 9 yr old girl telling me, “Uncle, you took off that? My friend S…. told me about it in school.” Wow! Didn;t realise that this will be a topic for conversation with kids that age.

What hit me was people associate me with some facial hair and are not able to digest me without it. Am I only that, or is that the salt in this dish? The next question was, “Which is the dish and which is the salt?”

We see people so mechanically that any change in them makes us uncomfortable. Or are people worried “Why is this fellow not bothering about all the ridiculing comments and living life on his own terms – without caring for public opinion.” “What kind of a creature is this that doesn’t care about the opinion of his family, friends and community?”

But to me it was a liberating experience. It taught me that I need not get fixated on symbols of how people see me. Now, I can handle people laughing at me. This has made me stronger to live life on my terms rather than on someone else’s terms. And I believe that that is what upsets people around me rather than the loss of this small patch of fuzz.

Try removing some symbols of how people perceive you and see for yourself how liberating it is when you are able to handle people’s ridicule. It will help you build the emotional muscle to take on resistance on more important issues in your life where you are imprisoned behind the all-important “public opinion”

Live life on your terms. Let not the perceived image be you. Set your inner self free to experience life in all its beauty.

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Anger

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Anger is one of the most common feelings for most of us isn’t it? It’s easy to come by and easy to express. Look around you in any public place and you’ll find that anger is expressed quiet openly. You see road rage, you see a spouse angrily speaking to the better/bitter half, you see a parent ticking off the child or the child throwing a tantrum at the parent, You see anger in the workplace. Boss to reportee, peer to peer, reporteee to boss, client to vendor and the other way around. You see anger expressed in so many colourful and not-so-colourful ways right out in the open in public. While you don’t see love being expressed quiet so openly in public.

Have you noticed that no one bothers to stop you if you slap someone in public or give them a dressing down, while if you try kissing your girl in public, the cops will swoop down on you for indecent behaviour and the upholders of cultural values will harangue you for your obscene behaviour.

Once upon a time we were a land that celebrated love. Today we are a country that smoulders in hate and reveres it.

In an Emotional Intelligence Workshop, the participants, all highly educated and paid and ergo assumed to be highly evolved were tied up in knots when asked to express “I love you” in as many creative ways as possible. They were shy, withdrawn, trying to dig a hole and disappear for being asked to mouth such words. But when this same group was asked to express “I hate you” in as many ways as possible, they were in full flow exploring all the notes in the emotional scale.

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I’ve always been surprised at our ability to express negative emotions so freely while bottling up the so-called positive ones like love, compassion, caring, gratitude, etc. Anger probably is a the top of the list and the one we all experience often and see even more often.

What if we could use the same anger and turn it around to work for us. Just as tidal waves are used to generate electricity, why can’t we turn our anger on our own limitations? What if we turned our anger on our limiting habits or feelings such as procrastination, jealousy, greed, fear and so on? What if we are able to burn these to cinder so we’re are able to lead fuller lives?

Then our anger would be well spent. And well earned too:)